Chilled sunshine

Every Wednesday I wake up early with a small knot in my stomach. Will professor HS say nasty things about my script, my utter lack of progress, my rich american background...or will he be helpful and generous and a bit inspiring. His "class" consists of a sort of open office hours where students come in for 3 hours and either wait their turn to chat with him, or get a chance to hear long divergent stories of past productions. However, he is quite insightful and experienced and does seem to care a great deal about his students' productions. Well, today he was in a good mood and extremely flattering about my script and gave me the final "official" word that the project had been accepted- as in, the school will provide the camera, pay most of the film/lab/lighting fees, and even pay my cinematographer a small fee...hallelujah! Having one's film financed feels completely amazing. I must try this more often. It makes me want to stay in europe forever....which I may have to do given someone picked off my passport this weekend in Spain.

I wont hold it against the entire country though, and I thought Barcelona was really lovely. My boy and I had fun wandering the cute little streets, drinking really good coffee, seeing the gaudi monuments, and having yummy dinners with my dad and step-mom. Late nights including drinking some terrible mojitos at an artsy-student bar, dancing at a super cool giant 100-year old club (with these funny mimes who kept the line outside quiet), and lounging in late night cafes with brazilian drinks (I forgot the name)....so besides the extra visit to the consulate, missed flight, and final going to the airport 3 times in 3 days, it was a good trip. Though he is england and i'm am, for the first time in ages, all alone. very alone.

And now I'm attempting to research a paper for school. The first paper I've written in French for real school...yikes...j'ai peur!

sleeping and eating

The past few weeks in Paris have been quite nice. I've had three visitors- Gabrielle, Tina and Wahid- all wonderful. I've been eating out in nice restaurants and going to places and trying to put away the work and sleep lots and play more. Still, it is hard to escape the feeling of guilt. Must draw storyboards! Must cast film! Must find little girl!
On that note, I did hold an audition yesterday with 7 actors. I think several of them will work for small roles and I'm about ready to make some final decisions...yippee. Plus, I re-auditioned a little girl who I'm kind of falling for- she's super cute but very naturalistic and not camera-conscious. Best of all, the sun has been out for the weekend, which makes everything glow a little brighter.
We had mint tea and baklava in the Paris Mosque, very cool- feels like a Turquish cafe. We saw music in a bar and ate lovely fresh fish and half-melted chocolate cake...
so, life is rich and good.

moving forwards and back

Officially, I will not be attending the berlinale talent campus. It seems fairly competitive (about 15% get in), so I'm not going to get too dissapointed, well I am but I'm moving on. I'm going to make up for it by going somewhere far more romantic than Berlin for Valentine's day.

Tiny bits of progress- I have cast an old lady! She's very cute and old and has been in many short films, even some television and some theater. She read the lines beautifully and has a very open minded spirit. Her name is Annik. I will put a picture soon.

And I've found several good locations- including the cimitiere des chiens in Asnieres. Tomorrow I'm looking at another place for the role of "American House". Funding seems to be moving forward too. I'm actually putting a 16mm to 35mm blowup in my budget...keeping fingers crossed for that.

highs and lows

First and foremost, I didn't mean to snub some blog readers by claiming others were number one. I love all my readers and am quite amazed and honored anyone would read this.

Now to my thoughts on highs and lows. Filmmaking is so frustrating. I had my first film, "Nest" rejected from yet another film festival. blah blah blah. I know it is just a first effort, and it's far from perfect, but when I watch it I am not ashamed and I even dare say I like it sometimes and it makes me sad that the only people who've seen it are a handful at my school and other school film festivals and the students in my English class. I just ge4t depressed from these rejections cause it feels so impossible to get your work out there and I know that there are thousands of other filmmakers like me feeling the same way.

Then, according to the website of the Berlinale Talent Campus, they've notified all their acceptances and if I haven't heard anything yet I'm on the waiting list...which is like, so incredibly vague, because that could be a 20 person wait list or it could be a 2000 person wait list. I really, really want to go. But I also know that it's just one little opportunity and others will come my way. Struggle and rejection is supposed to make us stronger, right? or just plain down.

On a high note, I did have a lovely new years eve. French people are so funny and different. My boy and I went to a fun little dinner party. Appetizers (oysters, foie gras, shrimp, you know, the usual 20-something graduate student finger food...) were served around 10, lots of champagne was drunk (real French bubbly), and then not until 1:30 am did the big meal come out- turkey, chicken, duck, etcetera...We tried to make it to another party but the metro was taking forever and we gave up around 3:30 am. Needless to say, I went to bed full, happy and a wee bit tipsy....