tired and slightly down

It's been a whole month since my last post, for shame. I'm surprised if any one still reads it, but it really is my record so who cares.

Tonight we had the cast and crew film screening at a cafe called Dune in Paris near my apartment. I first showed two other little shorts I've made, and then "push/pull". People seemed to enjoy the films, even though I felt a bit sensitive to any remarks made. One actor wondered why I had gotten rid of the end scene that we filmed, another wanted to know why it looked so bright...but really what matters is that I've shown the film in public (albiet the version still is waiting for some "professional touches".
I took this acting class in college with this wonderful teacher and there were only a few of us in the class. We did loads of fun exercises. I remember in one of the exercises the teacher litterly prying my arms open and saying, "Sahra, you've got this whole world but I can't see it because you're hiding it in a little ball." That's kind of how I feel about this film, about all my films really, or my creative side in general. No matter how much time I spend dreaming of how lovely every film festival and red carpet will be, it kind of hurts to show them, like I'm being pried open against my will.