Endurance

Making a film, long or short, seems to be really a question of endurance. There are a million temptations to drop it, to let it slowly disappear into an abyss of creation. I feel like I've gotten so much out of the process of making it so far, why stay on for the final part- the endless rejections and criticism that seem to await me? Maybe I'm being super negative but it seems like for all the hope I have that this film will pivot my career towards sought-after young directoresse, I also feel saddened by the reality- thousands of filmmakers vying for a few spots at obscure festivals that are attending only by other young filmmakers who think they could do better than you.
But the fact remains that I have to finish, at least for the sake of graduating if not for feeling like I can move on. And finish means have something I can screen to an audience at a movie theater without a great deal of shame involved. Yet when I screened it for a friend this weekend she is lost at key parts and I feel I am stuck and will never figure out how to make it work.

Christmas is around the corner and I can see that there isn't much hope of finishing before then, and so 2007 will roll around and I will at least keep on trying to find little solutions to finishing this mess of a film I have created.