holding pattern

I know I am neglecting my dear blog. I'm embarassed to report very little progress on my little film. Basically, there is no money to finish my film, I am fixing an apartment instead of becoming a great artist, and its hard to imagine ever getting a negative cut and a film printed. Having gone through it before, I know there are a million steps between having the film "edited" and actually having a film print in hand. At the moment, I have neither the time, money, energy or enthusiasm....but maybe once I actually unpack my bags in my new apartment and have a moment to take a breathe, then these qualities will emerge.

I'm "squatting" in a friend of-a-friend's apartment for the meanwhile, praying that the new apartment will magically be ready to move into in ten days, complete with people to move my stuff and a new couch to sit on and waiting will be a grant to finish this film and graduate from graduate school. But realistically, I'll be "squatting" a little longer, wearing the same shirt for the third day in a row, writing my feature script that will also never be funded, and wondering when it will be time to sell my soul and work for MTV in London. 6 months?

(sorry to be so pessimistic today, need to take my vitamins)